surfing the tao!

The words rushed off the page,

just like waves, whoosh, smack!

"Surfing the Tao".

A phrase new to me,

written by The Barefoot Dr, thanks Doc :)

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There are memorable moments in this thing known as Life, that is one of my Ah'ha's.

Such an apt description of whatever this thing called my life is.

There aren't that many complementary phrases or words for an un-settled kinda restless life.

Sniffy people call it "colourful".

Dreamy folks say oh, "going with the flow huh?".

Jealous people say, "oh it's alright for YOU"

as if you are deliberately living your own life just to annoy them?

Mean people say " it'll all end in tears".

Parents say, "Bohemian free spirit",

sounds romantic and dishevelled doesn't it?

I do a good number with dishevelled, though rarely public, but romantic

Na ah.

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Surfing the Tao, yes that is it.

Winging through, ever the optimist, as bi polar as the next person,

quickly sad but soonest forgiving,

memory like an Elephant though........ never forget,

yet don't hold grudges at all...........

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surfing the tao.....

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synergising all inside with the all on the outside,

re-callibrated from the experience and onto the next chapter.

As I stood reading the paragraph,

surfing the tao turned out to be

what to do when you don't know what you want, specifically, housing.

There I stood, 49 years on this planet & technically homeless for 8months,

the first time really.

Up until those words came, it felt and actually was pretty grim,

draining and not fun being seemingly only one false move away from the vulnerability of living on the streets.

It was so tiring,

half your time is spent ensuring somewhere to stay the night;

the other half unconvincingly reassuring everyone that you are fine!

Of course being white single female and homeless gets you nowhere with the State so there is no safety net.

Every time you move

a new 86 page form has to be filled in,

you soon realise what a waste of time and trees that one is!

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To be completely lost in your own life is too scary for most of your friends.

Already a bit scared ( and a bit exhilarated )

I mostly stayed away from the scared ones not wishing to become extremely scared by their unfolding dramas of my situation.

Life had been dismantling for some years, disatisfaction, knowing inside living the wrong life, woes and malcontent had arrived and become a greedy lodger.

Nobody who knew me could have failed to notice.

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Some helped unhelpfully, others helped helpfully,

all were extremely kind and intended to help as they would wish someone would help them,

if they were ever in such a catastrophe.

Of course most knew, they never would be.

When I first became "homeless",

it was a huge relief, end of a chapter, end of massive stress.

It's more than 3 yrs ago,

maybe now am about to have my own place for a year.

It was the end of a chapter,

the last one in a book of my life,

Now is book two.

I had no ideas, just knew I didn't want or need anymore of what had been before.

Life had to change, i knew I would change too and that appealed,

it could be challenging and interesting too!

Surfing the Tao,

yes

that was it,

I would surf the path, take each day as it came,

let go of all the OMG's and What ifs.

I could do that or at least i could learn how,

that i just knew more than anything else.

I also knew it was fait acompli!

this was actually a real opportunity,

a chance to start over.

I was reading that book, Feb 2006, on my first day of a Cat sit. Thanks Alison,

blogger, lostinaworldofcats.blogspot.com.

How marvellously magical life is at times :)